Finding the courage to reveal secret of past abuse – The Denver Post

Dear Readers: Every year I step away from my daily column to work on other creative projects. I’ve gathered some topical “Best Of” columns from 10 years ago. Today’s compilation deals with problems and complications related to weddings. (Some content has been lightly edited.) I’ll be back in two weeks with fresh columns.

Dear Amy: I am a 33-year-old woman who has kept a secret since I was in junior high school.

A relative who is a few years older than me, “Steve,” did some sexually inappropriate things to me. It didn’t involve nudity and I’d rather not get into detail, but it was very inappropriate and made me quite uncomfortable.

I never told anyone about this. Our parents were close and I never wanted to cause any hardship between them.

It has not mattered before because we would see that part of the family so infrequently that I was able to avoid him.

I have mostly forgotten about the incident except for occasional flashbacks that I quickly repress.

We were recently sent a “save the date” announcement for Steve’s wedding.

I have no desire to celebrate him in any way, much less be forced to go to his wedding.

My mother takes these occasions very seriously and has not responded well to my initial attempts to tell her that I do not want to attend.

I don’t think any excuse (except telling her the truth) will get me out of this and still be in her good graces.

I don’t want to tell the truth now because our mothers are very close, and I don’t want to upset that relationship.